IT KICKS YOUR BUTT!!!...and makes you exhausted! I've been sleeping like a baby since I started. Thus the reason for a lapse in posts!
Last Thursday I did legs and back plus AbRipperX. The second time was better with AbRipper, and the third time (tonight) was even better. There are still a few moves I can't quite do, so I make sure I do some sort of crunch instead- to protect my back which can be sensitive. Legs and back was straight forward, like arms on Tuesday, nothing too trying, mostly weight training to whatever goal you have. They did, however break out the pull up bar for my first go. In the first phase, I'm using the resistance band and pulling down from the bar until I get the strength, then I'll move to the actuall pull ups with a chair to spot. I went for more reps and lighter weight, and for the first week I'm taking it easy on the muscle failure stuff.
A note about the nutrition plan: By Thursday night- my body was seriously going through carb withdrawal- and with my sisters around, it is soooo easy to lame out on dinner, especially when I didn't have to work on Friday and the hubby was still out of town. In my house that means girly t.v. and junk food night. We definitely ate waffles and cookie sundays for dinner. When I asked Bri (16 yr old sister) "So adding bananas and pecans to waffles makes them healthy....right?" she wonderfully agreed. Oh well, atleast I measured out the syrup I put on mine and did not use butter on the waffle iron at all!
I would say I'm following the plan the best I can about two thirds of the time. I'm trying to replace dinner with a smoothie (see my previous post about that) and water after the major work outs, which isn't hard at all when you push yourself because the thought of throwing down some pasta after that makes you want to puke. I've kept my breakfast as is- some sort of carb/grain (and for those of you who know me- coffee, coffee, coffee!). I'm drinking a TON of water since I started, which makes me feel better and healthier then I have in a looong time! I've managed to keep the carbs down to two small servings a day. Other than that I've added in more veggies, less fatty foods, and I've quit saturday brunch bacon cold turkey!
Friday- well Friday was the start of Easter weekend, which made it difficult for me to do anything but spend time with the family. I did not make it to Kenpo- but I did however spend the entire day walking around D.C. with the ladies, shopping and checking out the Cherry Blossoms.
Saturday- here was an internal dilemma- do I do Kenpo to catch up? Or do I do StretchX or take another day off? Well, I took the day of rest from P90, BUT I did go on an extensive walk through the woods to the creek with the family and the dogs. No- I'm not getting lazy or giving up- I figured that the day of rest was scheduled after Kenpo and before Core Syn for a reason, so I wanted to be safe rather than sorry (remembering how sore I was on last Monday). I cut myself some slack- it's my first week. By the way- if my best friend who works out more than anyone I know and is insanely fit says she thinks my logic was sound, then I trust it (Thank you, Jackie)!
Sunday AM I was up and at 'em and going to town on Core Syn- I pushed it harder this time and it felt GOOD! I really focused on engaging deeper than last week, and breathing in sync with the moves. I was more balanced this week and it was easier. Afterwards I still had that muscle confusion feeling with the added benefit of this warm/tingly sensation across my lower back and across my shoulders. It wasn't pain- it was actually quite nice. Dad says it's my chi working hard to put me in balance (he was my Wing Chun teacher so that should explain his theory). I say maybe it's my chi and maybe it's my nerves being stimulated by the circulation and the deep breathing. Either way, I DO feel more balanced and THAT makes me happy!
Yesterday was the second CardioX and it went much better than last week! I'm more coordinated and was able to engage better. I still would prefer a bag to hit- I'm contemplating bringing my standing bag upstairs for just that purpose, but for now I'll tough it out. After- the same warm/tingly/muscle confusion stuff from Monday- Fantastic! The best news....after my shower I stepped on the scale and have already lost FIVE POUNDS!
This evening I worked out the kinks in what resistance I needed in arms and shoulders. Again focused on engagement and form....feeling good.
Can't wait for yoga tomorrow!
06 April 2010
31 March 2010
Day 3- Arms, shoulders and the AB RIPPER!
Before anyone gets all excited, no, I did not skip last night. I did my workout and then watched Nights in Rodanthe with the ladies... had no idea it was going to be such a tear jerker!
Last night was arms and shoulders, and it was a welcomed relief from the stress my legs have been put under the past couple of days! Next time I'll up the resistance a bit because I was not quite sweating as much as they were. I would highly recommend investing in hand weights. I usually prefer resistance bands, but with these moves, the bands occastional rub against your arm or leg and it is extemely annoying. Plus if you have ever sling-shotted yourself with a resistance band then you understand how painful that is- I'd just rather avoid it. Unlike the other sessions I've done, this one wasn't blow-your-mind out of the ordinary. He did interesting moves, but not complicated ones. The entire routine was relatively easy to coordinate.
I was half way through dinner when I remembered that I was also supposed to do Ab RipperX! So I popped that sucker in and got to business, how bad can a 15min. ab video be? Well, of course, P90X showed me. I have a fairly good ab routine that I do on my own (or atleast had done in the past on my own), it leaves me burning nicely. Ab Ripper is a whole different ball game my friend. He takes ab work and turns it on its head with movements that require that you are both highly balanced and coordinated! (Think serious yoga teasers here-- while moving). There were several that I simply could not perform- my core is not yet strong enough to do some of them and I has falling all over the place, and if I began to feel any low back pain at all I stopped. I finally decided that if they were doing something that I did not yet have the strength or flexibility to do, then I did repetitions of my own various crunches, so I was atleast working on my abs instead of taking a break and watching them perform some ridiculous feats on the floor.
This morning, I woke up refreshed! I feel much better then I have the past couple of days. My legs needed the break that last night gave me. I even wore flats to work today in order to revel in the lack-of-pain-ness. I'm also in a GREAT mood. Looking forward to Yoga X in about an hour!
Last night was arms and shoulders, and it was a welcomed relief from the stress my legs have been put under the past couple of days! Next time I'll up the resistance a bit because I was not quite sweating as much as they were. I would highly recommend investing in hand weights. I usually prefer resistance bands, but with these moves, the bands occastional rub against your arm or leg and it is extemely annoying. Plus if you have ever sling-shotted yourself with a resistance band then you understand how painful that is- I'd just rather avoid it. Unlike the other sessions I've done, this one wasn't blow-your-mind out of the ordinary. He did interesting moves, but not complicated ones. The entire routine was relatively easy to coordinate.
I was half way through dinner when I remembered that I was also supposed to do Ab RipperX! So I popped that sucker in and got to business, how bad can a 15min. ab video be? Well, of course, P90X showed me. I have a fairly good ab routine that I do on my own (or atleast had done in the past on my own), it leaves me burning nicely. Ab Ripper is a whole different ball game my friend. He takes ab work and turns it on its head with movements that require that you are both highly balanced and coordinated! (Think serious yoga teasers here-- while moving). There were several that I simply could not perform- my core is not yet strong enough to do some of them and I has falling all over the place, and if I began to feel any low back pain at all I stopped. I finally decided that if they were doing something that I did not yet have the strength or flexibility to do, then I did repetitions of my own various crunches, so I was atleast working on my abs instead of taking a break and watching them perform some ridiculous feats on the floor.
This morning, I woke up refreshed! I feel much better then I have the past couple of days. My legs needed the break that last night gave me. I even wore flats to work today in order to revel in the lack-of-pain-ness. I'm also in a GREAT mood. Looking forward to Yoga X in about an hour!
29 March 2010
Day 2- Cardio X
So through the course of yesterday (after my post) I did stretching 2 or 3 more times because as the day wore on, it became increasingly difficult to do the simple things in life like going up the stairs, standing up, or walking! It wasn't major, I could just feel myself getting a bit stiff and wanted to prevent waking up sore. In any event, I set my alarm for 5:30 a.m. and looked forward to trying out Cardio X because it starts of with yoga and then moves to kenpo, which makes me happy.
Fast forward to when the alarm went off- um, it definitely took me a solid minute or so to role over to the other side of the bed and hit the snooze button! I didn't realize that the groaning was actually coming from my mouth... the sheer overall muscle soreness was something akin to what I think it might feel like to be hit by a train, or a bulldozer, or an elephant, whatever your druthers. I pulled myself up and threw myself on all of the pillows on the hubby's side of the bed (he's out of town on business this week), thinking that all I needed was to sit up and move a bit. All I had to do was stretch....and carefully drag myself out of bed...throw on some yoga pants....and go...down....stairs. My body instantly gave me a "Uh-uh, ain't gonna happen" reactionto that thought. I snoozed for a little longer and managed to drag myself to a hot shower. Seriously, of all the different activities I've done in my life- basketball, horses (yes they work muscles, I promise), yoga, wing chun, dancing the night away in the city... nothing, and I mean nothing, has ever given me so much, complete, full-body, soreness in every muscle I've ever used, and a ton of muscles I clearly have never used. I'm not kidding, it hurt to sit on the toilet- and the first morning pee should never be so uncomfortable. To all my horsey friends- my seat muscles hurt! When have you done any workout that did not involve an equine that hurt your seat muscles?!
Watching me at work was hysterical today...my sisters are on Spring Break and the oldest one is going into the office with me to earn some extra cash. She about fell over in hysterics when we were walking back from lunch and I dropped my wallet on the ground and commenced a very slow, agonizing, crippled-looking kneel to get my wallet. An then, as I grabbed it, and felt triumphant in my efforts to overcome the ridiculousness that my muscles were going through, a handful of receipts fell out! Thanks, Karma, what did I do to deserve that? At that point my dear sister stepped up and got the receipts, all the while giggling at me. I can only imagine what someone who happened to be looking out of their office window was thinking, when they saw this little old lady reaching for her wallet and then she turned around and it was me!
But, there is light at the end of the tunnel. We should always look at the bright side right? So that's what I tried to do... hmmm... the bright side... well, none of my joints were hurting, even my old injuries from falls or my occasionally flairing tendinitis. Nope, just every teeny tiny muscle in my body, but no ligaments, joints or tendons, and also no muscle knots. So I took this to be a good kind of pain. And by the time I got home, it felt a little easier going up and down the stairs, but I was still pretty damn sore.
By now you are thinking, there is no way she did the cardio.... Aux contrare,[enter French accent here] but I did, I did do my cardio. I was a bit slow, but at the end Tony mentioned that if you were doing the Lean ninety days, then the cardio might be a bit much after the core workout. So that made me feel less lame. The warm up was filled with yoga, but more of a constant moving power yoga, and not just 2-3 reps of movements like your typical yoga session- it was 4-5 positions moving from one to the next as fluidly as possible, with 8-10 repetitions of the whole series. After the first three reps, you are already sweating healthily. I found it odd that the little muscles around my elbows were hurting every time I had to go into plank- that must be from all the pushup stuff yesterday. I was reminded of how much my flexibility has suffered from sitting at a desk so much. I couldn't bring my knee through from downward dog to runner's stance in one fluid movement, and that really bugged me. This is why I press on. The Kenpo was great, a bit different from kung fu principles, but similar enough for me to adapt well. There was some kickboxing combinations which I have never liked unless you put a bag (or a person) in front of me to hit. Punching at the air has always been difficult for me, because punching something is a transfer of energy, and when the energy is only going into the air, you don't feel like you are doing anything!
In true P90X fashion, just when you think you're over the hump, when you've gotten through more than half the session, Tony breaks out all the stops and pushes you more. This time it was plyometrics- which I have never done before and am finding it a bit difficult to coordinate, and its hard to be mature about feeling a little like a monkey. Finally, he wrapped it up with a few core moves from yesterday, wich were harder for me today. It got increasingly difficult because I was flat out EXHAUSTED! But, I did finish it, and I'm happy for that. I extended my cool down a bit, thinking I needed all the stretching I can get. Tomorrow is legs and arms plus Ab RipperX! I'm a little terrified. Now I'm going to drag my ass back to the shower, pop some advil and go to sleep!
See you tomorrow!
Fast forward to when the alarm went off- um, it definitely took me a solid minute or so to role over to the other side of the bed and hit the snooze button! I didn't realize that the groaning was actually coming from my mouth... the sheer overall muscle soreness was something akin to what I think it might feel like to be hit by a train, or a bulldozer, or an elephant, whatever your druthers. I pulled myself up and threw myself on all of the pillows on the hubby's side of the bed (he's out of town on business this week), thinking that all I needed was to sit up and move a bit. All I had to do was stretch....and carefully drag myself out of bed...throw on some yoga pants....and go...down....stairs. My body instantly gave me a "Uh-uh, ain't gonna happen" reactionto that thought. I snoozed for a little longer and managed to drag myself to a hot shower. Seriously, of all the different activities I've done in my life- basketball, horses (yes they work muscles, I promise), yoga, wing chun, dancing the night away in the city... nothing, and I mean nothing, has ever given me so much, complete, full-body, soreness in every muscle I've ever used, and a ton of muscles I clearly have never used. I'm not kidding, it hurt to sit on the toilet- and the first morning pee should never be so uncomfortable. To all my horsey friends- my seat muscles hurt! When have you done any workout that did not involve an equine that hurt your seat muscles?!
Watching me at work was hysterical today...my sisters are on Spring Break and the oldest one is going into the office with me to earn some extra cash. She about fell over in hysterics when we were walking back from lunch and I dropped my wallet on the ground and commenced a very slow, agonizing, crippled-looking kneel to get my wallet. An then, as I grabbed it, and felt triumphant in my efforts to overcome the ridiculousness that my muscles were going through, a handful of receipts fell out! Thanks, Karma, what did I do to deserve that? At that point my dear sister stepped up and got the receipts, all the while giggling at me. I can only imagine what someone who happened to be looking out of their office window was thinking, when they saw this little old lady reaching for her wallet and then she turned around and it was me!
But, there is light at the end of the tunnel. We should always look at the bright side right? So that's what I tried to do... hmmm... the bright side... well, none of my joints were hurting, even my old injuries from falls or my occasionally flairing tendinitis. Nope, just every teeny tiny muscle in my body, but no ligaments, joints or tendons, and also no muscle knots. So I took this to be a good kind of pain. And by the time I got home, it felt a little easier going up and down the stairs, but I was still pretty damn sore.
By now you are thinking, there is no way she did the cardio.... Aux contrare,[enter French accent here] but I did, I did do my cardio. I was a bit slow, but at the end Tony mentioned that if you were doing the Lean ninety days, then the cardio might be a bit much after the core workout. So that made me feel less lame. The warm up was filled with yoga, but more of a constant moving power yoga, and not just 2-3 reps of movements like your typical yoga session- it was 4-5 positions moving from one to the next as fluidly as possible, with 8-10 repetitions of the whole series. After the first three reps, you are already sweating healthily. I found it odd that the little muscles around my elbows were hurting every time I had to go into plank- that must be from all the pushup stuff yesterday. I was reminded of how much my flexibility has suffered from sitting at a desk so much. I couldn't bring my knee through from downward dog to runner's stance in one fluid movement, and that really bugged me. This is why I press on. The Kenpo was great, a bit different from kung fu principles, but similar enough for me to adapt well. There was some kickboxing combinations which I have never liked unless you put a bag (or a person) in front of me to hit. Punching at the air has always been difficult for me, because punching something is a transfer of energy, and when the energy is only going into the air, you don't feel like you are doing anything!
In true P90X fashion, just when you think you're over the hump, when you've gotten through more than half the session, Tony breaks out all the stops and pushes you more. This time it was plyometrics- which I have never done before and am finding it a bit difficult to coordinate, and its hard to be mature about feeling a little like a monkey. Finally, he wrapped it up with a few core moves from yesterday, wich were harder for me today. It got increasingly difficult because I was flat out EXHAUSTED! But, I did finish it, and I'm happy for that. I extended my cool down a bit, thinking I needed all the stretching I can get. Tomorrow is legs and arms plus Ab RipperX! I'm a little terrified. Now I'm going to drag my ass back to the shower, pop some advil and go to sleep!
See you tomorrow!
28 March 2010
Day 1- Classic, Doubles or Lean?
So when you open the box, it is a bit overwhelming. There are nutrition levels, nutrition phases, seperate methods for the workouts, a flier with all sorts of other stuff they want you to buy, like protein bars and resistence bands. What nutrition level am I? Well as it turns out I'm in between a level 1 and level 2, go figure, I have never in my life fit into a mold...it's just like shopping for jeans, if they fit the waist, they're tight on the hips, if they fit the hips, they fall off. In this case, however, I think being in between will be better for me because maybe that means I'll have a little more flexibility? :-/
By far the hardest part of this is going to be following the diet. I thrive off of carbs....not necassarily crappy ones, but I LOVE my carbs- pasta, rice, bread, potatoes (my very Irish heritage has given me at least 50 different ways to make potatoes!)- love them all, usually have carbs with every meal. What American meal doesn't have carbs? Breakfast comes with toast, then there's cereal, bagels, waffles. Lunch involves sandwiches, and dinner has rice or pasta or bread. Yes, cutting the carbs back is going to hurt- badly.
For a protein shake though- I've concocted a great recipe starting from theirs- rather than use protein powder, I use the french vanilla carnation instant breakfast powder with mild and frozen berries. It was very drinkable and fairly cheap.
Now for those of you who don't know, there are three ways of doing P90X. You can do the classic, the doubles or the lean version. The doubles are out for most starting out with this- it is just that- double the work out three days a week. Each dvd is already an hour long, so doubling that would likely kill me. I've decided to take Tony's advice and, as a woman, start with the lean version. I really don't want to have giant biceps and shoulders, and even though I know that I can do the classic with less resistance to stay leaner vs. bulkier, as I look through it I see that I do all the dvds except the plyometrics in the lean version, which could be taxing on the joints, and with all the horse stuff, I think it's a good idea to skip the plyo, do the lean, and then see where I'm at. Maybe after I complete the lean, take a couple of weeks off, I'll tackle the classic.
I did the first dvd at about 7:30 this morning, which was core synergistics. Let me just say that I now completely understand the meaning of the phrase "muscle confusion." That is exactly what this workout is, you do a myriad of different moves from classic lunges to yoga combinations, most of which you would never think of doing during the course of any standard workout routine, let alone at any point in your day to day activities. The warm up is long, which I love, because it gets my muscles good and prepared.
When I was done, I didn't hurt anywhere (except that my abs are sore), I was sweating bullets, and my whole body had that jello feeling, but a little more intense. I felt like all my muscles were trembling from the inside out- not visibly spasming- but trembling slightly. It must be the "muscle confusion" that they are talking about, because my body definitely feels "confused." Again, not sore (except the abs), not in pain, not stiff, just all jello-like and nicely tired. I thought maybe this was wrong because I've always pushed myself past the point of exhaustion when working out and it would hurt after (I'm thinking it was because I was bored with running, and so pushed too hard when I did it). Well it's eight hours later and my muscles still feel the same way, so I'm guessing that's a good thing! Now I will say I do not have handweights yet, so tried to make up for it by doing more reps.
The workout was anything but boring, changing things up a lot, and just when you think you are settling in, he steps up the work again! Tony is hysterical, and very clear on explaining proper form. I kept up fairly well, but definitely know what I have to work on. This is going to be quite the journey!
Bring on day two!
By far the hardest part of this is going to be following the diet. I thrive off of carbs....not necassarily crappy ones, but I LOVE my carbs- pasta, rice, bread, potatoes (my very Irish heritage has given me at least 50 different ways to make potatoes!)- love them all, usually have carbs with every meal. What American meal doesn't have carbs? Breakfast comes with toast, then there's cereal, bagels, waffles. Lunch involves sandwiches, and dinner has rice or pasta or bread. Yes, cutting the carbs back is going to hurt- badly.
For a protein shake though- I've concocted a great recipe starting from theirs- rather than use protein powder, I use the french vanilla carnation instant breakfast powder with mild and frozen berries. It was very drinkable and fairly cheap.
Now for those of you who don't know, there are three ways of doing P90X. You can do the classic, the doubles or the lean version. The doubles are out for most starting out with this- it is just that- double the work out three days a week. Each dvd is already an hour long, so doubling that would likely kill me. I've decided to take Tony's advice and, as a woman, start with the lean version. I really don't want to have giant biceps and shoulders, and even though I know that I can do the classic with less resistance to stay leaner vs. bulkier, as I look through it I see that I do all the dvds except the plyometrics in the lean version, which could be taxing on the joints, and with all the horse stuff, I think it's a good idea to skip the plyo, do the lean, and then see where I'm at. Maybe after I complete the lean, take a couple of weeks off, I'll tackle the classic.
I did the first dvd at about 7:30 this morning, which was core synergistics. Let me just say that I now completely understand the meaning of the phrase "muscle confusion." That is exactly what this workout is, you do a myriad of different moves from classic lunges to yoga combinations, most of which you would never think of doing during the course of any standard workout routine, let alone at any point in your day to day activities. The warm up is long, which I love, because it gets my muscles good and prepared.
When I was done, I didn't hurt anywhere (except that my abs are sore), I was sweating bullets, and my whole body had that jello feeling, but a little more intense. I felt like all my muscles were trembling from the inside out- not visibly spasming- but trembling slightly. It must be the "muscle confusion" that they are talking about, because my body definitely feels "confused." Again, not sore (except the abs), not in pain, not stiff, just all jello-like and nicely tired. I thought maybe this was wrong because I've always pushed myself past the point of exhaustion when working out and it would hurt after (I'm thinking it was because I was bored with running, and so pushed too hard when I did it). Well it's eight hours later and my muscles still feel the same way, so I'm guessing that's a good thing! Now I will say I do not have handweights yet, so tried to make up for it by doing more reps.
The workout was anything but boring, changing things up a lot, and just when you think you are settling in, he steps up the work again! Tony is hysterical, and very clear on explaining proper form. I kept up fairly well, but definitely know what I have to work on. This is going to be quite the journey!
Bring on day two!
Some Background
What compelled me to do this? My husband and I were in bed on a sunday morning and as we clicked through the channels that consisted of your average line-up of Church services, news and infomercials, we hit on the infomercial on P90X. The hubby, a former Marine, jokingly looked over at me and said, "Maybe we should do that?" Now by we, I'm pretty sure he meant me. He is in amazing shape, and has this unhuman ability to eat like a teenage boy and not gain an ounce...seriously, it's ridiculous. He's also one of those "only needs 4 hours of sleep" people. I swear whatever they do to them in bootcamp turns them into super humans. Me- not super human, and when I turned 26, that "woman" gene kicked in and I could no longer eat like a teenager. I'm 5'4" and 125lb, which is not horrible, but is completely unacceptable to me.
Last year I changed jobs, leaving a life in the horse industry and going back into an office. The reason? Simply put, the money. I also looked forward to wearing things like jewelry, heels and real clothing. However, the price for taking the job with the money and "civilian clothing," as my fellow horse people and I call it, meant I would no longer be riding 6 horses a day, hauling 50lb bags of grain or hay, or generally kicking my own ass physically 6 days a week, 10-12 hours a day. Ergo, my nice flat tummy turned into a kindof pudgy round one, my sculpted arms turned a bit flabby and my awesome back, which the hubby loved, disappeared completely.
Here comes the sobby part- but I have to put it out there to put all this into context. I promise this will be the only post with a pity-party bit. It's not just the physical fitness I want back... by going back in an office (which I do love by the way), I now have to balance my passion as a hobby, with my work schedule and family life (my two sisters, ages 16 and 11, live with us- that's a very long story which began five years ago, as dysfuntional as one might imagine when a 23-year-old, and her unbelievably devoted boyfriend-at-the-time-now-turned-husband, had to take her two sisters away from her own deranged, alcoholic mother). It's hard, it's complicated, there aren't enough hours in the day and I quickly realized that it was easier for me to retreat into myself, or retreat into the endless supply of t.v. dramas, or into a bottle of wine, then to buckle down and get things sorted out in my own life.
I realized not only was I out of shape, I was depressed, irritable and lacked any motivation to do the things I used to love to do. I developed back pain, and a general 24/7 fatigue that I can best describe as that feeling you have the day after getting over the flu... where you are exhausted, sore, and trudging along. You can imagine how my relationships (especially my marriage) took a hit. I finally realized that if I don't take care of myself, how on earth do I expect my husband and my family to be functional, happy and healthy?
I needed a change, and not just a little oh I'm going to run a few times a week change (believe me I tried it and it was too easy to find the time not to "not have any time" to run or hit the gym). I needed a serious kick in the ass- I needed to light a fire and keep it going, I needed a structured goal or I was not going to succeed. My dad says that life is not "what happens to you," it is what you make happen, and it is how you take the crappy stuff and turn it into a positive that enhances life.
For the rest of the week, the P90X infomercial kept nagging at the back of my brain... why not try it? After going through my typical anal-retentive decision-making processes, i.e. cost analysis, pro-con lists, the general inner struggle to convince myself that I actually am PERFECTLY CAPABLE of achieving such a goal- I bit the bullet and ordered the program.
So, here is my ninety-day journey, for all to see, or not...I'm doing this for the hubby, for the family, but mostly, I'm doing this for me...
Last year I changed jobs, leaving a life in the horse industry and going back into an office. The reason? Simply put, the money. I also looked forward to wearing things like jewelry, heels and real clothing. However, the price for taking the job with the money and "civilian clothing," as my fellow horse people and I call it, meant I would no longer be riding 6 horses a day, hauling 50lb bags of grain or hay, or generally kicking my own ass physically 6 days a week, 10-12 hours a day. Ergo, my nice flat tummy turned into a kindof pudgy round one, my sculpted arms turned a bit flabby and my awesome back, which the hubby loved, disappeared completely.
Here comes the sobby part- but I have to put it out there to put all this into context. I promise this will be the only post with a pity-party bit. It's not just the physical fitness I want back... by going back in an office (which I do love by the way), I now have to balance my passion as a hobby, with my work schedule and family life (my two sisters, ages 16 and 11, live with us- that's a very long story which began five years ago, as dysfuntional as one might imagine when a 23-year-old, and her unbelievably devoted boyfriend-at-the-time-now-turned-husband, had to take her two sisters away from her own deranged, alcoholic mother). It's hard, it's complicated, there aren't enough hours in the day and I quickly realized that it was easier for me to retreat into myself, or retreat into the endless supply of t.v. dramas, or into a bottle of wine, then to buckle down and get things sorted out in my own life.
I realized not only was I out of shape, I was depressed, irritable and lacked any motivation to do the things I used to love to do. I developed back pain, and a general 24/7 fatigue that I can best describe as that feeling you have the day after getting over the flu... where you are exhausted, sore, and trudging along. You can imagine how my relationships (especially my marriage) took a hit. I finally realized that if I don't take care of myself, how on earth do I expect my husband and my family to be functional, happy and healthy?
I needed a change, and not just a little oh I'm going to run a few times a week change (believe me I tried it and it was too easy to find the time not to "not have any time" to run or hit the gym). I needed a serious kick in the ass- I needed to light a fire and keep it going, I needed a structured goal or I was not going to succeed. My dad says that life is not "what happens to you," it is what you make happen, and it is how you take the crappy stuff and turn it into a positive that enhances life.
For the rest of the week, the P90X infomercial kept nagging at the back of my brain... why not try it? After going through my typical anal-retentive decision-making processes, i.e. cost analysis, pro-con lists, the general inner struggle to convince myself that I actually am PERFECTLY CAPABLE of achieving such a goal- I bit the bullet and ordered the program.
So, here is my ninety-day journey, for all to see, or not...I'm doing this for the hubby, for the family, but mostly, I'm doing this for me...
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